yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Randomize
