How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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