Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
