it wasn't lemon gatorade
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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