he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
