I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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