haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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