True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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