Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
