we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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