yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
