some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
