weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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