your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
