the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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