Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
