You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
