Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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