hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
