Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
