He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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