Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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