it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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