"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
