I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
