For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just pee around me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
