if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
