You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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