Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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