so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
