big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
