we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
