what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
