so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
