i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm at about main and main street
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
