did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't think brook has ever known best
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She told me I should be a condom model.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
