My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
