the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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