I wish my penis had an off switch
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize