Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
