So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
