the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
