i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
