yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
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Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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