i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
