roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
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You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
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Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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