i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize