I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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