Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
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I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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