Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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