I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
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Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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