How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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