She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize