Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Randomize
