Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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