You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
