Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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