Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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