Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
