i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
