Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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