found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
