I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize