ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
