Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Drunk is not a location!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
