nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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