This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
